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Wednesday 23 November 2011

Pro tempore

In the same way as after "The Big One" Earthquake along the San Andreas Fault everything East of it, from the Rocky Mountains to New York City, sinks - Germany will leave the Euro. It may take a few small economies with it but France, Italy, Spain and the rest of them will be left floundering in Euro mire. Belgium, Hungary and Austria are about to admit defeat any day now. Angela is fervently denying she's riding that horse into town - all the more reason to believe she will. By extracting Germany it takes the Euro off the equivalent of a Gold Standard and immediately allows for it's devaluation. This will solve nothing for those left in it other than not have Germany tell them what to do. Brilliant!

The Euro is saved - pro tempore - somehow the beleaguered remnants have to come up with about half a trillion in new money a year for the indefinite future to save their rotten banks - even Binary Fission wouldn't suffice. As the ECB will have gone back to being the Bundesbank they'll have to open another central bank rapido, presto, tout suite to run the printing press.

Meanwhile the population of the remaining Eurozone take to the streets in an anti-austerity avalanche of protest and a bunch of Fascists get elected. All non-citizens are thrown out. The Deutschmark becomes the new reserve currency, forms a fiscal union with Switzerland, Lichtenstein and the Cayman Islands - the City of London empties and moves to Frankfurt. The pound overvalues against the Euro and everybody in Britain goes shopping in France and the Republic of Ireland - the UK borrows money from the Germans to survive under a deal where the Bundesbank runs Britain - ex-servicemen storm the Houses of Parliament - Chancellor of the Exchequer beaten to death with Zimmer frame. The USA foolishly pegs the Dollar to the Deutschmark in an attempt to keep oil priced in US Dollars, goes into a Depression and invades the usual suspects and several unsuspecting countries - they elect a Montana Militiaman as President and the Capitol is moved to a small shack near Helena. The Middle East falls apart. The Taliban invades Pakistan causing a war with India and China buys Africa when nobody is looking. The UN moves to Beijing and Israel is thrown out. The Greeks find oil. There is an Influenza pandemic started by a sick chicken in Baluchistan, due to a lack of funds a third of the world's population dies. Notts County win the FA Cup.

Is this something like the solution you are suggesting?

Tuesday 22 November 2011

Theory

There is, of course, one very good reason that no matter who is elected they instantly renege on policy promises and revert to getting as much as they can for themselves and their mates before losing the next election -  Theory.  Any word in the dictionary can be placed in front of "Theory" and claimed as a best-practice canon of effective thinking on everything, anything and nothing simultaneously. The best thing about a Theory is that you can have one about things that don't exist, don't work and can't happen and win a Nobel prize for it. This is of little benefit to those supposedly living under it's influence. But given that a real insight is lacking it's better to have a Theory than admitting that you don't have the first clue. Theory is an excuse to stop scratching your head - and justify inflicting your opinion on as many people as possible.

There is little or no point in trying to explain a Theory to the vast bulk of the proletariat and even less in trying to explain one to Politicians - to whom complexity and getting elected are incompatible. This results in Cherry-picking simplistic elements of a Theory for public consumption while leaving the bulk of it's content and ramifications hidden from view to all - including themselves. The need for an aristocracy of thinkers is thus required to develop and prosthelytize Theory. Given that you can have a Theory about everything, anything and nothing then if you don't like one you can find thinkers that come up with another one that you do. This eventuates in conflicting Theories all regarded by their creators and supplicants as indisputable. Upon such things are Policy promises based. Sadly upon such things are nations and societies based.

Which brings me to the Theory of using a cow as a cigarette lighter. This would require positioning cows at all those smoking compounds outside bars, restaurants and office buildings - although for reasons of cows' sensitivities, restaurant locations, other than vegetarian ones, might be a little heartless - unless you blindfold them, but this would cause an additional fire hazard. A Piezo Crystal thingy in the nose or up it's ass would provide ignition. I call this "The Big BIC Theory". This Theory would work a treat in India. It would also provide a purpose for cows past their best milk producing years and make "I'm just popping over to the Abattoir for a quick smoke" common parlance. Even if smokers weren't around, to utilise this flame-off, a burning taper sticking out of all cows bums and noses would have a dramatic effect both on the release of methane into the atmosphere and upon the cost of street lighting. Why no political party in New Zealand has adopted this as a policy promise bemuses me.

Back to the subject of time travel - to a time when cows were pre-industrialised. Why bother? What's the point of arriving in the past and immediately catching Cholera, TB or the Plague and being referred to as "yee" - even if you can't expire. Do you have to take your own toilet paper with you? Anyway time as a continuum is only .... you've got it - a Theory. If it were available time travel would put an end to the retirement age dilemma and reduce health-care costs immeasurably as you'd be constantly sent back to a time when you were healthy and could work for a lower wage - or alternatively sent into the future and be dead. The Time Machine would be called the "See Ya" and located in every hospital, unemployment office, airport, police station and bank thus dealing with any and all social inconveniences at the push of a button.

If everybody had a time-machine would there be anybody left?

Now the Euro. How much would it cost to build a time machine - a few hundred billion, a trillion, ten trillion - certainly a lot less than saving the present financial system. Then we could all keep going back to 2006 and avoid the Global Financial Crisis. Despite the absence of time travel our politicians are attempting to do it by pretending it still is 2006 and using your money to wipe out the intervening years. So here you have two Theories, both of which claim that you can travel back in time, neither of which exist, work or can happen.

Wednesday 16 November 2011

Return of the Gooh Gooh

The exchange rate is the least of it. Protectionism and all the monetary constraints of economic collapse ensue. But the gist of your argument is that, as with the UK, Sweden and Denmark, you're better-off out of the Euro so why then propose an expensive (unworkable, unaffordable) solution to save it? You're knocking down your own argument. Rather than a single economic zone the Euro is an economic chimera of smoke and mirrors developed from an original treaty designed for the benefit French farmers.

The UK's economic performance is abysmal - so unfair to Sweden and Denmark to compare their performance based solely on a shared ability to flex exchange rates. The only thing that keeps the UK out of an Italianesque tradgedy is, as you say, that it is fortunately not in the Euro -  as a result, they are able to devalue against it - the saving grace along the way is the US Dollar weakness - already ending as American money heads for home in panic. This does not mean that the UK economy is doing any better or that their banks aren't just as vulnerable as the likes of France's when debtor nations try to repay loans with garbage currencies - however they are aligned. By the way, aligned to what?

When you devalue your Mickey Mouse currency against the Euro you can't buy as much in Euros (or anything else) as you used to which then impacts on all those that remain in a real currency - badly if enough countries revalue - so they have to try to hold down the value of their real currency. This can't happen. Result Mickey Mouse inflates.

Usually the country invents a name for it's new Specie (I've always liked "Gooh, Gooh" - as in the Italian Gooh Gooh or the Spanish Gooh Gooh) and defaults on any debt not marked in that currency - basically declare bankruptcy without the discharge. Their economies immediately go into several years of ass tightening and reappear when enough time has passed for everybody to have gotten over being stiffed by them. Of course, up to now, this hasn't included the likes of Italy - new territory indeed.

What we have here is a problem that can't be solved within the Box of present economic theory - why? - because the Box is a mirage with vaporous walls of synthetic debt. A faith based belief economic system with one commandment - growth. The only requirement to be a supplicant is to have "confidence". No lasting solution can be found within the confines of this thinking - just more of the same. Given the all-pervading nature of the present belief system an alternative can not be found in time to prevent an economic equivalent of The Rapture, slash, End of Times.  If the Box is an illusion then there is no "outside the Box" to think in. As Weed used to say to the Flowerpot Men - "Time to go home" - or was that the Wooden-tops?

Germany's biggest advantage is that it's labour costs have remained reasonably flat (they started high in line with their productivity) while the others' shot up by 30% with little or no increase in productivity - who in their right mind drinks Retsina. Italy has gone nowhere in a couple of decades thanks to Berlusconi and a peculiarly Italian version of the free-market. One of the few things that sets Italy apart from the other failing economies was the lack of a property bubble. This is of little consolation.

I advise that in order to come up with a successful solution to the Euro shenanigans you might resort to recreational narcotics, hallucinogenic drugs or go into a trance - an induced coma might be a better long term condition.Which is what the likes of EC Commissioners and The ECB must have been in when they allowed Greece in.

Tuesday 15 November 2011

The Bankers' last Haka

We appear to be well into the Uncertainty Principle already - if the Market reaction is anything to go by. Germany and France are at opposite ends of this principle. Germany has stopped so it knows where it is and France has to keep moving to avoid finding out. Unfortunately the two of them have to come up with a compatible solution. Germany knows it has just about enough money to deal only with it's own problems but France hasn't. So France wants to keep the fiction going long enough for time to heal the wound while Germany - no stranger to overwhelming debt - sees no point in securing what amounts to France's, and the rest of Europe's, debt as part of any deal. Meanwhile the British are baffled - at the mercy of the banks that created the problem in the first place. The City of London runs the country via political proxy.

Seeing that most of the transactions take place Offshore beyond regulation any threat to withdraw from the City of London is pretty hollow. All the foreign banks are already outside most UK regulation and taxation which is why they came to London to begin with. The UK banks are only subject to UK authority on the money they earn domestically or repatriate - largely used to pay themselves. Regulating this is a bit of a problem as the whole convoluted system is designed to avoid oversight. It is also designed to avoid jail. Any solution, to the inequity of bankers' moral hazard being taken at the expense of taxpayers, would have to remove the Offshore ability of accumulating unregulated debt globally while the risk falls domestically upon those with clean hands. This would require the regulations to apply universally, bring offshore havens into the fold and remove any burden on the public purse to bail out banks and private financial institutions. This will mean reversing most of what has happened over the past 40 years. Not a bit of wonder that bankers won't tolerate the thought of it. To make the present financial behaviour illegal would see most of them end up in prison.

What is a decent salary for a banker? They already get a base salary that is well above the norm and, under the present circumstances, more than they deserve. The bonus culture is their way of winning the bet before the result is in. The bonus culture in corporations is not that much better than in banking. This time the fools that carry the risk are the shareholders. Guaranteed minimum 100% of salary bonuses, stock options, retirement plan contributions are all based on numbers manipulated by the recipients of this largesse. The growing importance and influence of CFOs reflect this apparent anomaly as they orchestrate the numbers. The movement of vast quantities of money into private retirement plans, under favourable government tax rules drafted on the advice of financial institutions, guaranteed rising stock price P/E ratios that allowed corporate management to falsify omniscience and overpay themselves. All very comfy until there is a market crash. At which time the shareholders take the hit and management continues to pay itself more than they are worth or are the recipients of, wholly undeserved, giant redundancy packages.

Economies run on infrastructure and spending - any money not designated to improve those should be dropped from the plan. The beneficiaries of this infrastructure should be properly and proportionately taxed for it. This would include equitably apportioning corporate and finance profits towards national prosperity rather than individual wealth. By this means the possibility of a popular revolution on the street may be avoided.

You're wrong about Libya being the first no troops (or very few) on the ground example of regime change by us. Afghanistan was rid of the Taliban with similar minimal help - unfortunately keeping it Taliban-free has resulted in many more boots on the ground than originally estimated and an open-ended obligation. We'll have to conjure up the war on terror though to justify our arrival in Libya in large, heavily armed, numbers. Not beyond the realm of possibility once the Libyan factions start a civil war. Syria will become our new best friend when US troops leave Iraq and Iran gains more influence there. Hence the lack of action against Assad Jr. - unless of course he looks like actually losing at which point we'll back the most friendly looking, non-islamic, alternative. There is an interesting Middle East dynamic developing where their democracy is a challenge to our democracy. Let's not forget all our oil bearing despotic arab allies fearfully eyeing the rise of democracy. We're in a bit of a conundrum.

By the time NZ won the Rugby World Cup I was prepared to support anyone else, including France, winning the bloody thing just to get it over with. You've got to start thinking that it is all a set-up with the winner pre-arranged on an as-needed basis (a bit like Formula One motor racing). I'll be truly relieved when the last flag, poster and sign of the World Cup is removed from every nook and cranny of this country. A country that, sadly, believes that rugby is the world's most important game and, even more sadly, is the only game their boys can play reasonably well. The Haka thing at the start of the game should be banned - a time-waster and unfair to those without their own Haka to perform. Although every nation that has more than 8 vowels in the players' names has one. When Tonga or Samoa play NZ they try to out-Haka each other. The French walk-up is only news-worthy because NZ (and the IRB) expects the other team to stand around doing nothing while on the receiving end of loud noises, rude signs and throat-slitting actions. My suggestion is that all teams have a pre-game dance routine. Highland dancing for the Scots, a Jig for the Irish, coal-mining movements for the Welsh and a Morris dance for the English. The possibilities are endless, Line-dancing for the Americans, Tango for the Argies, some sort of Ninja deal for the Japanese, Can-Can for the French - what the fuck the Canadians and Suth Ifricins do is up to them.

Debt, Banks, Growth - pick any two

Your scenario of a new 2 speed European Economic Union of is wholly dependent on it creating growth - as in economic expansion permitting debt to reduce as a proportion of GDP. Unfortunately a return to assorted devalued national currencies will achieve the opposite as historical sovereign debt will still be measured in Euros and exports from the few remaining Euro countries (especially Germany) will be too expensive and trade will shrink not grow. The knock-on effect on China's exports would be significant - spreading the grief.

You can tackle sovereign debt, bankrupt banks and growth only by picking two of them to tackle at once not all three. There isn't enough money. Especially as regulation permitted European Banks to loan to European Community countries at leverage rates of up to 250:1 under the now miasma of "they couldn't default". Meaning banks are incapable of surviving either a default or a devaluation of currency by any of it's debtor nations (the equivalent of default). So given a choice of two out of the three the logical pick is to tackle sovereign debt and adopt policies for growth not austerity and let the Banks go under. Government then will have to cover the lost customer deposits up to a fixed value and not assume leveraged debt of untold trillions. This could be between 40 to 250 times cheaper than bailing out the banks. The retail divisions of the Banks would be nationalised to keep the branch doors open.

Alternatively, you could just run the printing presses and inflate your way out. This would, of course, destroy the personal wealth of the elite which is why we'll hang-in with the present fallacy as long as possible while they sort out a plan B. Primarily time to move their wealth into something or somewhere less likely to evaporate. Taxpayers will be milked to extend the transfer period of their wealth to a safer haven.  France will not be one of those havens - nor, probably, would it be a first team selection to remain in the new Euro given it's bank's exposure to Italy et al. The Irish, Portuguese and Greeks will sensibly default on their debts immediately they are relegated to the second division of Europe. This leaves you with Spain and Italy as the lead weight around the neck of Europe - sadly no matter what stroke they adopt the rest of Europe is likely to sink with them unless they cut them free.

However you cut it there is no elegant solution. The unpalatable fact is that we're in a Depression - a creeping one. Country by country until the tilting point is reached. Why anyone is surprised by this astounds me. We knew when the Global Financial Crisis struck that hundreds of trillions of debt were out there in the form of CDO and CDS and other assorted toxic, exotic, financial instruments conjured-up by banks looking to increase leverage to historic (lunatic) levels in the pursuit of profit and bonus - recklessly stoked by the Fed's cheap money window. Now we're looking to leverage sovereign wealth to historic levels to bail banks out of their atrocious bets, aka investments. Seeing that countries are vilified for debt at 1.2 to 1 then their ability to leverage at up to 250 to 1 to cover their banks' debt is less than nil. As is the belief that the solution to gargantuan quantities of debt is yet more debt. Pay off your credit card with another credit card.

Globalisation has exacerbated all this as with Lehman Brothers. Everybody cheated, either by borrowing more than they could repay or lending more than they could expect to get back. The choice is clear. Accept that the present financial structure has imploded and needs colonic irrigation or drown in an ocean of debt. Whatever the outcome we're not going to avoid walking around shoulder deep in shit for a long time to come. Although this may be more palatable than the present position of standing on your head in knee deep excrement.